btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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