We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
