Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
