I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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