My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
