How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
