I hate all girls vehemently.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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