Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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