If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
