Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
