so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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