oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
