Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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