I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
pop tarts are not kleenex
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
