I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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