Betty ford says i'm here all night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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