Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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