Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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