It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize