It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
