I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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