but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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