The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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