It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
