I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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