im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
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I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers