I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?