i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.