Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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