Can i not drive my cunt home
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My feet surprised me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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