Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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