Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
