Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
