Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
