What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
