Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
