When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
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We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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