genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you didnt know i had herpes?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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