Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
