The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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