i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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