NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize