I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
