I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
