i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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