Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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