you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
