I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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