They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize