i love accidental penises.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
