One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
