i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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