i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We left the knife in your bed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
