rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
