come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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