I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
