I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
