I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
