All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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