I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
