i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
