you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
