I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
