I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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