AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
